This is a collection of the writings I did over Reunion for the Gods and spirits..
I wrote two short pieces of mythic fanfic. The first is ‘Bâillon‘, which focuses on the giant Erann and his bonding with the Laetha Ava. Erann also has some prayers/poetry below dedicated to him. The second was ‘3 2 1 2‘, which focuses on a tense moment between the Ophelia and Clarene. I try to post up all my stories on the Four+ Gods and Their spirits on Ao3 under the ‘Otherfaith Religion & Lore‘ tag.
Poetry and Prayer
Laetha and Dierne
1. for the Laetha, to be said after cleansing
My face I have hidden from you,
O Lord.
My heart I have hidden from you,
O Lord.
My will I have hidden from you,
O Lord.
My body I have hidden from you,
O Lord.
These I have hidden
away from your light
but now I give them to you
O Lord.
2. referencing the spirits of the Dierne’s Court
Blessed by Pallis,
Supreme Dierne
no odd unfortunate
effect of inebriation
befalls you.
Only in the morning
craving
meat and cheese
and foods
By afternoon,
ready again
to partake in His
holy communion.
3. from the Dierne’s perspective
“In my heart, I have nothing but resentment that you placed the two of us as opposing stars in the sky; that we touched once and should be content forever after.”
In my ears, only
soft distressing sounds
of your body in the river.
This is what I remember of you:
water, and –
When winter came,
the rivers frozen
and the City at peace
All trace of our rebellion enveloped
in the magic of love.
I was gone for some time
Any changes to the bones of home
washed away in the flood of you
and my memory was aligned with
the truth of things.
The world moves without you,
but I am left here
placed in opposite ends of the sky.
4. from the Laetha’s perspective
Beloved, beloved
endlessly.
What furs do you encompass me?
What fangs envelope me?
Beloved, beloved
I have sung the song of my soul
and still
you are apart from me.
Is this punishment?
Flesh, embodiment,
separation
from your near holy self.
Please
beloved
do not
attain that divine light.
Beloved!
Not – that
absolvence,
best called bleach,
for what it enacts upon your love
our love
our thread
our
my
my –
Beloved –
I will eat the world
in every bite
in every morsel
in every home
in every hearth
if they take you from me.
5. an unfortunate perspective
The cigarettes I’ve burned
the cocktails I’ve consumed
the inebriation, sought after
You abandon me still
“You abandoned me, still”
Stood across the pharmacy
numbers called out
my ears numbed
the television
telling tales of sorrow
death and blood and death and blood and
My soul become an awful
twisted thing
The Gods desired
the Gods wanted
the Gods intended
the Gods,
the only keystone I have to guide my way
My birth aligned with you
but I’ve no scent to track you
I am left alone
with my faulty intuition.
“Please please please”
a thousand times I have prayed
I will pray
I have sought you
until the end of my days
I have torn through the ice
and you have torn through the storm
and still we are separate.
“If the world
or your love
were at stake,”
they ask
and I laugh
as if there is any choice
as if I would put you
after the world.
And you
glorious in your starry spear
lifted above me
me in my
final form, no more penultimance
lay before you
“The world,”
you decree
and I am slain.
Clarene & Ophelia
1. for the Clarene
Light each hearth
in your people’s homes.
let not the flames
of our love fail.
2. to invoke blessings
Heavenly ones,
dwell again
with mortal companions
and counterparts.
Holy ones,
dwell again
among us in this mortal realm.
Cast again
your blessings upon us.
Lead us right
lead us well
lead us always
toward our own becoming.
3. from the Ophelia’s perspective
“How shall I love you,”
she asks
peeling away your stockings
peeling away your shields.
“How shall I love you,”
she asks
stripping you of your dresses
stripping you of your defenses.
“Forever,” you retort
sure she will never commit
Sure as your
smug
unhappy
smile.
“Forever,” she agrees
and lays you bare before her.
Ophelene and Liathane
1. to invoke the Ophelene
Ophelene,
God of Justice
sister of the sea
most honest among the Four
I call for you.
Ophelene,
God of Justice
sibling to doubt
aimed at the starry heavens
I call for you.
At Reunion,
your armor abandoned
your swords sheathed,
you are adorned in
your most benevolent forms.
(“Your most toothless,”
the Liathane complains.)
I call for you
Justice
beatific Justice
chaos-loved Justice.
Please, Ophelene,
be with us in this world.
2. for the Ophelene
Clad in silver,
eschewing gold,
the God of Justice
precedes armageddon.
3. for the Liathane
Chaos in your eternal undulations
white and red ribbons
of poisoned flesh.
What wickedness you bring
what violence
what holy change.
4. to invoke the Liathane
I pray
that I might know you well;
even if my flesh
only meat between your teeth.
that I might comprehend you;
even if my bones
only dust beneath your feet.
Liathane
last
eighth
God of the dark beyond dark,
I pray
that I might hold
in my trembling hands
one ounce of
you.
5. for Justice and Chaos
To the Liathane,
leading up to Reunion.
The body of justice laid upon
whatever nest you have chosen
whatever bed suits you best.
Her skin coated in stars,
purple velvet draped about her,
awaiting the entrance of her beloved.
Chaos, in your serpentine form,
milk white and reflective as the moon
upon the river.
Your scaled form
slithering up every inch
and incline of the Ophelene.
Holly red tongue
and holly red eyes
adoring the face of your lover.
The hands which
in summer heat
grip and restrain
Your body wrapped
in familiar crushing intent
in despair,
In winter the two of you
entwined.
Alynah Blake
1. to invoke The Great Rabbit
Child of Althea Altair,
rejected by Lilibell Vega,
of old flesh and new name
I call to Alynah Blake.
Niece to the Dierne,
grandchild to the Clarene,
boon and bane of the Gods,
I call to Alynah Blake.
Magnificent in all your forms:
horse and horned
rabbit and rathe.
I call to Alynah Blake.
Most powerful of the Giants,
violent and riotous,
most beautiful among the unholy unhoused kin,
I call to Alynah Blake.
Arise, Alynah,
from the swamp of creation.
Your recalcitrant lover awaits
the winter of your return.
His skin remains unpainted
in his devotion to you.
Arise, Alynah,
from the pool which,
eternal,
bubbles hot as flesh
thick as mud
full of the blood
of the Gods,
that you might step fully formed
to embrace your lover again.
2. in praise
I say this of the supreme rabbit
upon the day of her birth:
Alynah Blake,
bane of the Laethas
and bane of orderly existence.
Alynah Blake,
daughter of stars
and daughter of fire.
Alynah Blake,
born a year from conception
and born fully formed.
Alynah Blake,
powerful in her bloodshed
and powerful in her bed.
Alynah Blake,
beloved of the West
and beloved of unloved Abel.
Abel Blake
in honor of him
Abel Blake,
what becomes of you
in the rains and cold?
Well.
You are at home there
as anywhere
requiring only inebriation
to persist.
The forms claimed as yours:
succubi
alcoholic
obsessive.
Divinely blessed
and rejecting any divine
obligation,
every single emotional
connection.
What I know and love
adore of you
am aware of
taken away in the undertow
of your ‘spiritual
purpose’
the arc ending
in your rejection
abandoning the burden
weight and weft
to my human hands,
burning my flesh with it.
Althea Altair and Lilibell Vega
1. to invoke the twins
The two star-named twins
shepherds of instruction and devotion.
Neither of you visible in daylight
Twilight and night illuminate
your ethereal forms.
Althea Altair, in your
unearthly light,
lead me to the home of your father
the halls of devotion
the rooms of pious sacrifice.
And when my heart is torn,
my chest cut apart,
my mind unmade in the shape
best loved by God
Lilibell Vega, in your
starry veils,
lead me to the forest of your brother,
the trees of silver,
the leaves all reflective mirrors.
2. to request aid from Althea
Althea Altair,
hooded in red
bracketed in gold
stoic child of the Laetha
born without heart
your gaze far-seeing and colorless:
aid me, please.
May I mind my tongue
watch my words
engage honestly
speak truthfully
and honor the Holy Ones in my speech.
Teach me your ways
of piety and devotion.
3. for Lilibell
Lilibell of the sky,
pole star once and again,
bright
and beloved of Altair.
Born as
stars fell past the horizon
unbroken from the sky.
Your aura captured
in that burning moment
between night and day.
Your sister, twin,
spat from ashes and flame
as your soul arced in twilight.
Her name truth but
marred and marked and warped by you,
two existence inflicted upon another.
Who would you be
if you had not been caught
as if in spider’s silk
but that’s no question
worth the dignity of answers.
The thorns of each other
as inseparable as veins,
her heart beating beside your own
until you tore your own wretched muscle out
and let it drown.
4. on her lover
How is she, in the morning –
unpleasant?
hungover? overworked?
aware of you at all?
In the evening,
Vega rises
as clear as your own eyes
refreshed in daylight
refreshed at the sight of you.
Epiphany
1. request for aid
Epiphany,
beloved of the sovereign
beloved of books
beloved of all eternal knowledge,
grant me inspiration.
2. another request
Epiphany, enflame me
as you were enflamed;
Epiphany, reveal to me
the mysteries of your world.
3. a sacrifical request
Shall my skin blister
break away
as yours did,
Epiphany,
under the weight of revelation?
Shall I be struck
illumination like lightning
as you were,
Epiphany,
behold to your Gods
giving up the life you lived?
This an unfortunate
honest request,
ill-made,
that I lay at
your bare feet.
Aster Aira
Some of these were also posted earlier, for Aster’s ‘birthday’ on the Winter Solstice. That post is found here.
1. in praise
Aster of stars,
crowned in flame,
I praise you.
2. upon the date of Aster’s birth
I call to Aster Aira,
son of the Firebird
embodiment of flame,
accursed one.
I call to Aster Aira
upon the day of your birth,
the mournful night
of light’s return.
I call to you:
Misfortune, to be burned away
our misfortunes bled into your blood
burned away within your body.
Consuming all poisons
all despairs
all injuries of man
until the sun is all that remains.
3. the birthplace of the son of fire
The land named for mermaids
nestled to the coast
all trace of sun
no memory of snow,
this is the birthplace of you.
The heart of a fire
enthroned upon forested peaks
of western mountains
sated on a nest of pine,
this is the birthplace of you.
What do you reject
and what do you accept?
He who brought you life
has no need once you’ve
fulfilled or failed
– and he doesn’t care
one or another way –
better to abandon back
empty one duty
refill with whatever
fits worst.
Better to reject all births
all places of home.
Let the waters of death
remake you,
let the god of death
take you.
This is the end
thousands of ways seeking
oblivion
in the arms of your could-be mother.
This is the birthplace of you:
a bed
at the lake house
where the waterfall calls
and your would-be mother
sits beside.
Refilled duty
refilled devotion
What you sought returned
in the cold comfortable gaze
of death.
Neve Winter
The fourth prayer here can also be found on Aster Aira’s birthday post.
1. in praise
Neve of Winter,
crowned in snow,
I praise you.
2. to the daughter of dreams
Neve, this I know well
how easily sibling affection
ran rampant in your brother’s veins
how dreams contorted and confused
protective loving morphed and manipulated.
But in world-spawning dreams,
what afflicted you?
No innate immunity
granted by your mother,
God of Dreams;
better to say you were afflicted
marred by your mother,
God of Death.
3. beloved Neve
The stars of the obscured sky
part the clouds to see you, Neve.
The moon in her wisdom
moves the tides for you, Neve.
The grass reaches green tendrils
toward your footsteps, Neve.
The snow falls upon the worlds
as you command, Neve.
My heart aches
for you still, Neve.
4. to temper Aster, her brother of flame, the unholy one
Neve of the cold and ice,
daughter of Ophelia,
clad in snowfall.
Most remarkable among
the Western’s winter,
born properly a year following
your flaming brother.
Your castles of ice
and illusion
mark the worlds.
Bring blue fingers
to bear upon your brother
guiding him to redemption.
Casimir Casimir
1. in praise
Casimir of Casimir,
crowned in steel, in blood,
I praise you.
2. an unfriendly wintertime
Casimir
of earth mountain and might
in winter leaving your beloved’s side.
How awful to see her
cavorting and adoring
that vile excuse of existence
her brother,
her affection like salt brine
awash on the flesh of you.
A year come
a year gone,
the snow soft and fluffy
fake in demanded delight
a world designed by gods you
still just don’t can’t won’t never trust.
Neve wrapped in dark
in warmth
in luxury
in the weight of you
“Overbearing.”
Walking next to
wondering when you’ll
have to
leave, lest risk
running into that brother of hers
that awful ex lover of yours
maybe you can avoid again
another
every year.
Not this year.
He approaches in the street.
Cobblestone, you note,
better to stare at than
him
and Neve as happy as snow should be
as the spirits at dusk
at dawn
happier than you
ever get to hear.
Buried in your scarf
unwilling,
but when when you gave
everything, everything
every fucking thing
does she still love
the man who stole it all away?
Aster spares one
gold blazing look
at you.
You don’t look again
calling him coward in your mind.
Calling yourself all
the worst names
you can imagine.
Erann the Giant
1. in praise
Of Erann, the Giant,
what can I sing?
Erann the Giant,
Companion to child-like Ava,
tender and watcher of Laethic fires.
Who traveled from unknown unspeakable lands
bearing your known unspeakable names.
Erann of endless expanse,
of such shifting shapes
the Giant with the unhewn face
what features mark yourself,
Erann, you who refuse form,
adopting all aspects of another –
any other but the self,
avoiding eternally
the mirror of your own visage.
What right can any mortal claim
to lift the elaborate masks
adorning you?
(Yet still I
feel, remember the heft
of that mask in my hand
the sound of my sigh
once you were revealed
unwillingly
to me.)
(“Can’t leave well enough alone,
can you?”)
Best described in relation
to another:
Companion, protector,
leash and muzzle,
friend to all,
beloved of one.
You are the
unflinching grin,
an ever-present positivity,
a lie entirely.
How can I
sing your songs?
When left with you
I am best the unseeing one
but strife always
until your hands fall from my eyes and I
am beholden
to the kaleidoscope color of you.
Longing for God,
and touching upon you
the winged messenger.
2. desirous for him
Erann the Giant,
what I know of you
is –
There is a green heart
at the center of the world
and should I approach it once
twice, ten thousand times,
you shall cover my eyes
and in your deep tones tell
“Look not upon”
the eldritch unending knowledge
of this world.
There are dark alley streets
in every city melded here
and should I be lost again
a thousand times
you shall cover my mouth
and in your voice tell
me
“Do not say”
a single word
let no knowledge depart
What I know of you, useless
worthless to any except
myself, branded
weeping
wanting
you.
3. chaste, however
In your hands
all bones are breakable
In your hands
all hearts are shattered
In your hands
all bodies are frangible
Touch, touch,
every inch of me I beg you to touch,
Erann, holy one
What care have I
in lust and longing
for any
‘messenger of God’?
Call yourself a thousand
thousand names
a thousand words
beloved, please
upon my delicate flesh
rend every inch
of your desire.
4. completely chaste
Oh you who
has but half your wings
cast like stained glass as they are
my heart longs for you.
You who never lacks
for humor and grin
expression keen and treacherous
I long for you.
Oh my liar
my wicked beloved,
my chest cannot contain
all the torment I crave from you.
My body, even trained,
broken in and adapted,
may stretch and snap
and still I pray to hold you.
J H L
1. the burial mound
No matter what happened,
happens,
each betrayal unique in taste,
each jealous desire bitter,
my love remains.
Unsure, unsteady,
I –
“do you love me?”
Do you love me still
when I’ve abandoned you,
left behind
the bonds we made?
were made with,
whole cloth divided only
at the end.
Awaiting you,
awaiting me,
at the forest of gods’ eternity.
2. the bedroom
“I love you.”
my bone?
my muscle?
my fat?
my flesh?
my –
“freckled,” you say,
your tongue dragging
along each one.
heart
heart
heartbeat
my heart b –
your lips on mine
ambrosia
the scent you claimed
you wretched
you beloved
you
i
“Please,” I
beg.
3. the apartment
Heavenly, your aura
but to hell I must go
‘Hell’ – separation from God
separation from you –
When did I lose the thread of you?
the moment of love
the moment of sin
or centuries before,
sin without you,
I would indulge again
to see betrayal painted
like melted ice across your face.
Do you know what I suffered
waiting for you to wake up to me?
What did you suffer –
what are you suffering?
Desire is a dog’s mouth
teeth poised
and I’m just waiting for you to bite down.
4. Reunion’s end
The ways I have loved you
must be enough
to last another year.